Oh, Stop Worrying About Barack Obama

I get a constant dose of, “Stop worrying about Barack Obama!”. I read it everywhere. One of the most spread about lies is the one telling Americans that as gun owners we have nothing to worry about. We are told that Obama supports the Second Amendment and respects the rights of lawful citizens to keep and bear arms.

When I read all this malarkey, I am reminded of a parrot a co-worker of mine used to have. After work one afternoon, I went with this guy to his beach-side condominium. From previous conversations at work, I knew Dave had a parrot. He had told me some of the shenanigans this parrot, named Julio, had gotten into since becoming of member of Dave’s family. One thing I was told is that the parrot was really only loyal to one person and that happened to be Dave. He merely tolerated the rest.

I discovered, and fortunately not he hard way, that Julio was most noted for his deceptive practice of luring unsuspecting newcomers to his cage. What person would not be fascinated and immediately attracted to a beautiful green parrot, especially one that could talk - quite eloquently for a bird I might add.

As I walked in the front door, I was almost immediately greeted with, “Hello! Hello! Come here!”

I’ve not been around talking birds much in my life. I do recall one time visiting a small animal farm in which they had a myna bird, a smallish black bird that I believe is somehow related to the starling family of birds. One of the attractive things about a myna bird is its ability to mimic sounds it has heard before, much like a parrot but I think a parrot is a bit more intelligent, as you will soon discover. This myna bird happened to pick up on and seemingly enjoyed mimicking the phrase, “F&*% you!”

Julio on the other hand was suave, debonair even. He was soft spoken in his greeting of, “Hello” and “Come here!” With a smile on my face, I approached the cage stopping at about three feet away. My learned tendencies when it comes to animals, kept me from getting any closer. I guess I’ve had too many dog bites, etc. to have a great desire for closeness with animals I’m not familiar with.

“Hello! Come here! Come here!” Julio pleaded. Who could resist? This bird, even though he was just a bird, perhaps with a brain the size of a pea, could woo anyone. He had me from the first hello! (sorry)

I stepped a bit closer and for some stupid reason, perhaps because I was simply overtaken with he bird’s calmness, soft pleas and charisma, I began to stick my finger into the cage.

“Don’t do that!” Dave yelled. “The little bastard will bite the end of your finger off!”

I retracted my finger and hand and took a step back. Now that I had learned some of the truth about the bird, his pretty green colors weren’t quite so pretty anymore. I soon lost interest in Julia and turned my attention to other more important things.

Are there similarities between Julio and Barack Obama? I tell you what. You stick your hand in the cage and see if he bites.

Tom Remington