Skippy LaFrance

By Tom Remington

Skippy was an excitable person with a level of enthusiasm exceeded by almost nobody. His hobbies included pig wrestling and driving his custom-built “cut-down” skidder around his 130-acre wood lot. He thoroughly enjoyed ramming dead or half-dead trees with the oversized bumper he had crudely welded to the front of his “all terrain” vehicle. His favorite movie to watch, although few would qualify it as a bona fide movie, was looping videos of the “Crash Test Dummies”! He was not what most would call a man of grace and agility. Seldom would anything Skippy owned remain in one piece or at least in its original condition without some sort of modification. He certainly was a likable fellow but wherever Skippy went, it seemed that the bizarre followed.

Skippy’s best friend from high school, Tommy “too-short” Terwilleger, lived a short distance from Skippy. The two did most everything together except fishing. Skippy considered fishing an absolute waste of time and was an activity that was one step below the excitement one would find in playing golf, he thought.

By today’s standards of insisting to label every child with some kind of disorder, Skippy would qualify for many but the most outstanding would be the infamous “ADD”! Attention Deficit Disorder! His attention span was short to say the least and sitting still for more than 5 minutes was unheard of. We have all had the pleasure of knowing at least one “Skippy” in our lifetime. This Skippy was the kind of kid you couldn’t help buy like. He was full of so much personality and always wore a broad grin no matter where he went. He could have just as easily been named Happy LaFrance.

Tommy loved fishing and couldn’t get enough of it and one thing he didn’t like to do was go fishing alone. He was forever begging Skippy to spend a day with him on the lake fishing but he would have none of it until one day Skippy called Tommy and invited him to go fishing. Tommy couldn’t believe it! One week from this coming Saturday, Skippy told Tommy he would pick him up at his house at 4 a.m. for a day of bass fishing on Lake Shawshank.

What Skippy had failed to tell Tommy was he was picking up his new bass boat the next day. He wanted it to be a surprise. He would spend the rest of the following week readying himself and his new boat for the maiden voyage. If you hadn’t concluded yet, Skippy had a hard time just leaving well enough alone. He was always tinkering on something – new or old, it didn’t matter. Many times his eagerness to “improve” something got him into trouble. He was a bit like “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” from television fame.

After work, Skippy rushed down to pick up his new boat. The salesman quickly went over every important bit of information that all boat owners should know while Skippy paid little attention. At last the boat and trailer were attached to the back of his Chevy Blazer and Skippy headed for home. As he left the parking lot of the boat dealership with his brand new Bassfinder, twin 250 horsepower outboard motors, he hooked the handle of the galvanized garbage can near the exit and headed off down Rt. 26 dragging it behind him. It fell off about a block down the street as he bounced down off the curb and snaked the trailer rapidly down the road.

Skippy loved his new toy and couldn’t wait until Saturday arrived to pick up Tommy and give him the surprise of a lifetime. All week long Skippy puttered with his new boat – twisting on this and tweaking on that. He wanted to find a way to make the motors sound better and wished he had bought an inboard with twin exhausts and fuel injection. Each night when he got home he would add something new to his boat and ready more gear for the trip.

Friday night and Skippy completed nearly all the tasks he could think of to go fishing with Tommy. He loaded the rest of his equipment and even threw in a couple of items he thought he might need – a carburetor kit, grease gun, and his new Makita reciprocating saw. Well, you never know! He beat himself up emotionally many times trying to decide whether to leave the bimini top on or take it off. He actually removed it and replaced it several times but had now decided he better leave it on. He was thinking more of his buddy, Tommy. Everything was loaded into the boat and Skippy was ready but was the world of bass fishing ready for Skippy?

Skippy’s alarm sounded at 3:45 a.m. but he was already in the garage checking again for what else he would need. After one more thorough check and a quick glimpse at his watch, he decided it was time to head down the road. Excited as always, he jumped into his truck, fired the engine and out the driveway he went. Two blocks down the street he looked in his mirrors and realized he didn’t have his boat. Quickly he did a U-turn and went back home. There sat his new boat waiting to be hitched to his Blazer. He backed up to the trailer and hooked on. Out the driveway he went one more time. This time he had his boat behind him but the line from his brand new fishing rod had become entangled in the handle of the garage door. After the 250 yards of monofilament had stretched halfway down Elm Street, the new rod flew out of the back of the boat like a rocket out of a missile silo – Skippy totally unaware!

As he pulled up in front of Tommy’s house 30 minutes early, he promptly blew his horn and proceeded to wake up half the neighborhood and all of the dogs were now barking. Tommy walked slowly out his side door and into his garage. He had left his door open the night before. He was gulping down a big cup of coffee when he spied Skippy’s new boat. He couldn’t believe it. Skippy ran into Tommy’s garage and began grabbing anything he could get his hands on and loading it into the boat. Tommy was still admiring the new vessel.

After a bit Skippy jumped back into his Blazer and blew his horn loud and long one more time and yelled, “Come on Tommy! We got some fishing to do!” Not really ready, Tommy got into the passenger side front seat and Skippy was headed for Lake Shawshank with new boat and best friend.

Skippy dominated the conversation for several miles telling Tommy all about how he bought the boat and how much money he saved. He also told him about his new rod and reel he had bought which now lay in the middle of Elm Street.

As Skippy’s speed approached 50 miles per hour, the wind caught the underside of the bimini top that had not been securely fastened. Lifting it quickly it detached itself from the mounting tubes that hold it in place because in Skippy’s haste he never secured the top properly. Like a kite at the beach, the bimini bobbed and weaved through the air and came to a stop nestled in the branch of a pine tree overhanging the highway. Hooked on one end of the boat top was Tommy’s leather case that held his cell phone – phone still in it. Neither Skippy nor Tommy was aware any of this had happened.

Thirty minutes later they arrived at the boat launch near the head of the lake. Acting as though he had launched boats his entire life, Skippy backed his trailer and boat right up to the ramp and put it in the water. Tommy was trying to tell him the right way to do it but he might as well have been talking to a fence post.

The launch area was quiet. No one else was there other than Skippy and Tommy. Tommy was hungry. Skippy had arrived so early he hadn’t had a chance to eat any breakfast. Somehow Tommy got Skippy to settle down long enough to eat a pop tart and drink a can of Pepsi. While they were eating, Tommy commented on the fact that his boat should have come with a bimini top. That’s when Skippy realized he must have left it home even though he swore he had brought it.

They finished up their breakfast snacks and Skippy released the boat the rest of the way into the water while Tommy took the bowline and walked to the dock to draw the boat in tight. When he got the boat next to the dock, Tommy noticed there was now about 6 inches of water in the bottom of the boat and his extra change of clothes and jacket were floating as well. Skippy forgot to put the two drain-plugs back and the boat had been filling with water while they had breakfast.

They decided the best thing to do would be to put the boat back on the trailer and pull it out of the water and let it drain. Then they could place the plugs back in the holes. Once they got the boat out of the water, Tommy climbed up into the boat to retrieve his clothes. As he began to dig through his gear, he realized some things were missing. As much his fault as anyone’s, some of his things didn’t get loaded from his garage earlier. He searched also for his cell-phone and couldn’t find it. Tommy was becoming perturbed while Skippy was searching for the boat plugs and his new fishing rod.

Needless to say, neither the plugs nor the rod could be found. They would have to go back home and find them but Tommy wanted nothing to do with that. He insisted they just go back home where he would be safe.

They headed for home. Suddenly Tommy notices something ahead hanging in a tree. Before Skippy could react and slow down, Tommy hears a noise and turns around just in time to see the boat and trailer headed straight for Mary’s Brook. Tommy yelled for Skippy to stop but he is now looking up in the tree. When he realizes that what is hanging in the tree, is his bimini, he stops. Now he notices his boat is gone.

They turned around and went back to the scene of the accident. The new boat is lying upside down in the middle of the brook and gear is scattered everywhere. The boat and trailer are no longer attached to each other. It looks like a war zone. In Skippy’s haste as always, he had forgotten to fasten the hitch properly and the boat had gone out to Shawshank Lake and partway back before coming off the hitch. Tommy was speechless and Skippy was already backing his Blazer up to the wreckage figuring out a way to get it all back and in order. Skippy figured that if he could get the boat turned over he could then get it onto the trailer. Maybe there was enough time to go fishing later on that day. Just another day for Skippy but Tommy is in shock.

By Thomas K. Remington